some excerpts
1.
"i'm with him becuz he cares for me and this baby and i love him."
"but does he love you for you or is it only going to be just becuz of the baby?"
-long pause-
"that is a question i've never dared to ask."
"will you be asking it anytime soon?"
"i don't want to think about it. at least not till the baby is born. or when i can support my baby at least."
"are you afraid?"
"everyday of my life..."
2.
what if i told you i love you?
what would you do?
would you turn away from me?
never talk to me again?
or would you embrace me and say 'i'm sorry...'
i wonder why i stopped writing. is it becuz i ran out of ideas? is it becuz i never make time for it? or simply becuz, i stopped wanting to feel the emotions i'm writing about? i think tiredness is affecting everything. my thoughts, my sight, my hearing and my emotions. making me think too much, stress too much over nothing and making me emo. damn it. i hate this.
alright, pushing it away.
been busy lately. really shld stop playing so much. time to unplug the hard disk! and get to finish pasting the pictures up on the wall. lol. i sincerely hate comp2600 and seriously thinking of burning the textbook i have yet to buy at the end of the semester after taking the exam. ugh~ the rest are still quite ok and i'm doing smth that i quite like alot which incorporates art and programming. which is the same feeling as when i'm doing flash. hahaha. miss doing that with na during work, or even in school for FYP or for VDG 2.
i haven talked to any of my babes since i came back to canberra. na's really busy, xuan and ku's either going to start school soon or most prolly started alr, nee also very busy with school. i miss having my babes arnd to just call up to chat or smth. or even to arrange to go out. even though some times very pek cek to arrange timing, coming out and chatting away really makes it worthwhile. loved the steamboat. and we'd always have the problem of leftover food. ALWAYS. lol.
wah, cannot, this is making it worse. i better end it. will definitely blog again when i'm feeling bright and cheery! or else, i'm just going to leave the impression that i'm not happy here. i'm content, but sure, things could be better. lol. oh well.
alright to end it off, i'm leaving a formula and a quote behind.
lack of sleep + homesickness + sad songs on the ipod = really really emo and bleak
Never break four things in life
TRUST PROMISE RELATION HEART
because when they break, there's no noise but there's a lot of hurt
ciaos!
i have to get this off my chest. i'm having a crush and it's killing me. ugh. this is so not the time and not the person. what can i do to keep my feelings in check??
|